Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this boner is exhausting
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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