But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
where am i from again
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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