Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
