What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They have beer where we have blood.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
