we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
