She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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