nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
