Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
