Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
