This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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