he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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