it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
