ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
