why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
