Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
