I don't think brook has ever known best
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
