its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
