What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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