At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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