Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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