I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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