you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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