Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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