i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
