She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
