What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
