I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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