She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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