do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
