I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
