Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
