she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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