i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
