upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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