oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so let's talk penis.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
