i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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