It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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