she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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