So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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