But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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