she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
