oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
