So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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