either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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