Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
