Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
