I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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