with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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