I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
