My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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