put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
