Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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