Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
