i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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