Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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