Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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