you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
